Don’t Ask Me to Forgive You! A Radical Approach to Healing Interpersonal Wounds


We’re all struggling to forgive someone – an unfaithful partner, an abusive parent, an addicted sibling, an ungrateful child. We’ve been taught that forgiveness is good for us, and good people forgive. But many people find forgiveness much too generous and are left hating and hurting.

In this workshop, you’ll learn a radical, new alternative to forgiveness – a profound, life-affirming, healing process called Acceptance which allows you to make peace with your past – without forgiving an unrepentant offender. You’ll learn how to deshame the injury, release your bitter preoccupation with its injustice, restore a sense of dignity, and forge an appropriate relationship with the offender. This may mean completely cutting off or fully engaging with that person.

Genuine forgiveness will be reframed as an intimate dance, a hard-won transaction which asks as much of the offender as it does of the hurt party. If you’re the offender, you’ll learn how to perform bold, humble, heartful acts of repair to earn forgiveness. If you’re the hurt party, you’ll learn how to create opportunities for the offender to make good.

This workshop invites you to participate in an experience designed to help you or your patients rise above a violation, repair the rupture within yourself, and consider forgiving the person who hurt you. For those of you who have wronged someone else, it will offer you concrete steps for earning that person’s forgiveness – and your own.

Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., ABPP, is a nationally acclaimed expert on issues of trust, intimacy, and forgiveness. She is author of the award-winning How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, The Freedom Not To; After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful, and Life with Pop: Lessons on Caring for an Aging Parent. In private practice for 38 years, Dr. Spring is a recipient of the Connecticut Psychological Association’s Award for Distinguished Contribution to the Practice of Psychology and the Connecticut Association of Marriage and Family Therapists Award for Distinguished Family Service. Board Certified in Clinical Psychology, she is a former clinical supervisor in the Department of Psychology at Yale University.

Date: Friday, April 8, 2015
Time: 10 a.m. – 4 p.m.
Tuition: $135
Contact Hours (CEU’s) for NYS: 6
CE Credits for NASW: 5


If you would like to apply online, click below:

If you would like to mail or fax in your application form, download a printable application here.

The Ackerman Institute for the Family SW CPE is recognized by the New York State Education Department’s State Board for Social Work as an approved provider of continuing education for licensed social workers #0052.

This program has been approved for Continuing Education Credit Hours by the National Association of Social Workers, CT and meets the continuing education criteria for CT Social Work Licensure renewal.

If you are an Ackerman alumni or current Ackerman student, please contact the Training Department directly to register.

Damaly Ferreira
212 879-4900, ext 111