Secrets, Cybersex, Infidelity, Addiction, Trauma — and Forgiveness?

This workshop will offer concrete clinical interventions and poignant case examples to questions such as: What constitutes an affair — sexual intercourse? Sexting? What makes cyber-relationships particularly seductive? When is cybersex a sign of sexual addiction? Is there a difference between secrecy and privacy in committed relationships? Is there room for secrets in couples therapy? How can therapists hep hurt partners absorb the trauma of infidelity and feel less crazy and alone? How can therapists help unfaithful partners take responsibility for the damage they caused and earn forgiveness? How do feelings of love deceive as much as they inform? What is the role of neurochemistry in driving these feelings? How do attributes which originally attracted us to our partner become targets of our contempt? After an affair, is it possible to forgive without reconciling with the unfaithful partner? What concrete steps can partners take to foster genuine forgiveness? What concrete exercises help couples rekindle trust and erotic intimacy after an affair?

Learning Objectives:

  • Describe an open secrets policy that helps partners and therapists manage secrets in couples therapy.
  • Specify what makes cybersex so appealing and addictive.
  • Describe a trust-building exercise that fosters connection between partners after an affair in cyberspace or in the flesh.


Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., ABPP, author of After the AffairHow Can I Forgive You?, and Life with Pop is a recipient of CPA’s Award for Distinguished Contribution to the Practice of Psychology. Dr. Spring is also a former clinical supervisor in the department of psychology at Yale University.

Date / Time:

Friday, April 17, 2020
10:00 am–4:00 pm

Continuing Education:

5 CE Contact Hours

Register Online:

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